HCG positive

missed my period for at least two months. due to my irregular period i didnt suspected anything. was hoping i will get preggie. tested on 1st july 2008 - neg. then come 10th july 2008 - neg. then 26 july - neg as well! i was so disappointed... then come 2nd august HCG test finally turns out to be positive! was so happy. but did not quite trust the test strip and went to get TRUE BLUE HCG test strip and turned out to be neg. i was upset! but as i thought thru' the HCG shouldnt be reflected if i have neg pregnaacy, rite? then i went read on the instruction that came with the test strip, showing that i have an early pregnancy... so i was feeling puzzled.

in order to prove my pregnancy is indeed positive, on the 5th august my hubby and i went to the GP near my place and took a beta-HCG blood test. that will take another few days of wait before getting an answer. trust me it was a longest wait ever!

on the 6th august, was working and continued with my routine... at 1600 hrs went to the loo... and found spotting. i was like... OH NO! went out of the loo asap, and looked for the experienced riched mothers like my small boss whom has three children of her own... and she gave me a panic look. i was like okay, something is very wrong! the news of me having spotting spreads like wild fire in the office and even my boss knows. i was asked to leave to see a gynae doc nearby or anyone asap. i ended up in NUH A&E asking to see Prof Biswas... whom was informed about my condition. i was immediately attended to within minutes! Prof Biswas was kind and understanding... he is professional! his words gave me assurance and calmed my confusing mind. his team of doctors worked together with him... i was glad that i have choosen Prof Biswas. i was discharged with 10 days of ML. asked to CRIB. started on medications... followup to see him the following monday.

on the 7th august, the GP clinic that i went on the 5th august for a beta-HCG test, i was in called for consultation regards to my HCG result... the result showed 121.6mIU/mL which might suggested i might be having an ectropic pregnancy, early miscarriage... i was so upset!!!!! went back home with a heavy heart. cried. on the same nite i checked my counts which i did in the A&E was 324.7 mIU/mL. i was very anxious still.

on the 8th august, went for another round of beta HCG test at NUH.

on the 9th august, showed 671.1 mIU/mL... =)

on the 11th august, went for my followup with Prof Biswas. i was told i am about 4 weeks plus preggie!!! alright!!!

my additional love COCO... the holland lop

two months old. holland lop. coco.

anger

this morning, i met a few angry people in the office. i did not know what to do or how to resolve their anger, though i wasnt the cause as i was just lending my ears to hear them out...“The best answer to anger is silence.”

life is complicated...

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” Confucius quotes (China's most famous teacher, philosopher, and political theorist, 551-479 BC)

genting - cameron highlands

this august going for a trip to cameron highlands - genting in malaysia. last visited these places was 18 years ago! excited to see the changes that took place. this time going with hubby and in-laws ;)

almost a month still counting...

It's almost a month after my dad's death. Dont know why, why I am counting the days that gone by without him. Things he did and all the places that he had gone. Guess I am sad still. So when will saddness be gone? I dont know, all I know "M O V E O N" my life (i said)... busy working still... busy with life... busy with my wedding preparations...

Oh yes my wedding has to be held within a hundred days from the day of my dad's death, if not I had to wait and delay my wedding plans for three years or so (why are all these practices??? i dont know if you ask me). All my anuties, uncles and my mum, wishes was not to see my plans delay and to continue my wedding plans as planned. But its so different and difficult without my dad now. I wanted so much, so much my dad to walk me down the asiel, wearing the bartik shirt I bought especially for him (which was bought just before i received a call that he had passed away) ... my wedding card (wanted my dad to review the card for advise) that bears his name to wed me off to my love. But all that had changed forever, no more walking down the asiel with my dad instead walking down the asiel myself... a wedding card that bears my mama's name to wed me off... Things has changed, and I felt all strange to wed at this timing.

While I was all alone at home was bored and was going thru' all the "march in" music, I cried. Tears just flowed and flowed. Tears just cant stopped just because I heard this song over the radio (emontional being... "M O V E O N!" i said. i turned off the radio and cool off myself with a cold bath)... and I always loved this song written by Luther Vandross "Dance with my father"

Back when I was a child
Before life removed all my innocence
My father would lift me high and dance
With my mother and me and then
Spin me around 'til I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved
If I could get another chance, another walk
Another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
How I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again
When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way, I would run from her to him
He'd make me laugh just to comfort me
Then finally make me do just what my mama said
Later that night when I was alseep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me
If I could steal one final glance, one final step
One final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
'Cause I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again
Sometimes I'd listen outside her door
And I'd hear now my mother cried for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me
I know I'm praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you dont do it usually
But dear Lord she's dying
To dance wit my father again
Every night I fall alseep and this is all I ever dream...

my first pic on blogger

hello me... a first try out on posting the pics. wow had a great time clicking almost everywhere, and downloading almost every programs suggested... just to get this pic in this site. As I was told off by Cassandra(best galfriend) that, I am too back dated for not knowing the blogger site... so had to try this in order to put myself back to current date 3rd June 2005... hehee.

zacky... my love......

zacky
born in 22nd nov 2001.
jack rusell terrier.
naughty n cute...
my love.