Since the day I delivered my son, I was going thru a rough time adapting the changes in my life. I was almost went into deep depression... post natal depression that is. Cried unknowingly, every evening 5-6pm struggled to go thru the motion, I was feeling very down, depressed, sky looked groomy, grey, lifeless, silence seems overwhelming, everything seems a distance... It was a scary moment, that passes through each day and me dealing it alone at home during the first week of my confinement.
Fear creeps into me. Fear of going to post natal depression, fear of hubby not having enough sleep, fear of not feeding my son well, fear of my son's jaundice might go worst, fear of changes in my life, fear of not able to cope in the night... fear!
Today, or should I say this whole week I was feeling so much better of myself. I stopped all weeping thingy and thoughts of fear. I am now more aware on how to cope and manage my son and my life. Maybe becoz, I getting used in the lifestyle and routines.
Thankfully, I have a supportive hubby and mum. I very thankful for their understanding, patience, thoughtfulness, bearing my nonsense of crying and weeping, thankful for their presence for been there for me and my son. Thank hubby, for talking out with my mum on 16/01/10 in asking her to fully commit herself in taking care of me and our baby boy. Thank you for taking over the role of purchasing the baby stuffs... like diapers, wipes, cotton, snacks, foodstuffs, taking care and managing of the finances so well, opening a saving account for our son, banking the long kept coins, staying in queue for 2 hours plus, buying my medela electric pump, working day and night despite not having enough sleep, accompanying me to take confinement food (even knowing that the foodstuffs are heaty), thank you for comforting our son when he is crying, singing to him, feeding him, changing diaper for him, most of all thank you for being there for me... THANK YOU!
